Still love my job...

This week, upon returning to work after fall break, I am grateful to know that I still love my job.  I'm so thankful for the kids, the cute things they do and say, and the fact that I know I'm making a difference in their lives.  Things at home are settling in, as well.  Kipp is adjusting and doing well.  We are planning a camping trip this weekend, so it is giving him something to do.  I can't wait to go.  I miss camping and it will be a fun time with friends:)

When life gives you...

My motto of the day:  When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.  Cliche, I know, but it is all I can think of to try to make me feel better.  Bad news, no worries, we're going to Disneyland! 

So the story is, Kipp is officially not going back to work.  Really, not overly surprising, just disappointing to have to face reality.  I'm still not sure that it is okay for Solar to do that to Kipp.  It makes me very angry that they showed no loyalty to a faithful employee of 20 years.  He knows the job, and he could work into it, but they won't even give him a chance.  Honestly, I feel torn.  Sometimes, I think that Kipp would really struggle going back to work, and it isn't too bad having him at home.  On the other side, I know he is bored and wants to work, and maybe it would be good for him.  I'm not sure if I should do more to find out if Solar can really do this to him.

I know deep down, it will be a tough adjustment, but we will be okay.  We'll have to cut a few things from our budget, like the Y, and some cable channels, and maybe not eating out quite as much.  But we will survive, maybe even be better this way.

And yes, we are going to Disneyland!

My List

These are just some of the little things I'm thankful for that don't necessarily need an explanation, so a list is more appropriate:
Quiet time
my comfy couch
my husband's sense of humor
the visibility when I drive the truck
the funny things kids say
cartoons
soft sheets & blankets
putting my feet up
my to-do list
doctors
motrin
hot showers

Just keep remembering...

Needless to say, with my school year starting, I've been stressed and exhausted.  At the end of the 2nd week being back, I am starting to get into the groove, and not feeling like a walking zombie.  We're coming up on a year since Kipp's stroke, and usually when under stress, I have a lot of dreams/memories of how bad things really got.  I know it is not the best method to deal with the stress, but I actually think these memories serve a purpose to remind me of how lucky I am.  I love to teach and get to every day.  I almost lost my husband, but am blessed with a very strong recovering partner.  No, he can't return to work yet, and I still feel like I do A LOT!  But, these memories remind me to be grateful every day for what I do have, and I have A LOT!

Wow...Summer's Over

Well, not for most of you, but for me, it is back to work.  This aligning with the Sweetwater calendar really sucks!  Timing isn't perfect, but I am enjoying setting up my classroom and even though I don't have the ideal 4th grade team, I am enjoying the adult interaction.  It is rough, teaching/working all day then coming home to deal with "home life".  Kipp doesn't intend to, but is demanding.  He really just wants the interaction and to talk with me.  I actually totally understand where he's coming from and don't mind at all.  Even though I'm usually super tired, I find the energy to be with him and just interact.  So I'm thankful for the "small stuff", as in "don't sweat the small stuff".  It makes me realize still what is really important in life, and has given me a really unique perspective into my school life.  In the scheme of things, I realize what is really important.  The small stuff will just go away and something will take its place.  So I really don't mind the "small stuff" so much right now:)

I Can't Believe it is Really Summer!

I have so many emotions right now.  I'm trying to keep in mind that I am grateful...grateful for everything in my life.  I have so many blessings they are hard to count...my family, friends, work, home...loving husband.  But with all the rush of year end things, I am also having mild depression and panic attacks.  I find myself occasionally thinking of something terrible that happened this past year to Kipp.  I worry about money and bills, and whether or not we should spend money on vacation.  I'm feeling a huge responsibility to my family as mother, caretaker, bill-payer, decision maker, etc.  I watched my son graduate from 5th grade this morning.  All his friends and him looked so grown and ready to go to middle school.  I was a little sad to see the pictures of them growing from Kinder to 5th.  My baby is on his way to a teenager, and I can remember rocking him nightly and putting him in his crib to sleep like it was yesterday.

On the bright side, I went to speech therapy with Kipp today.  I haven't been since I went back to work 2 months ago.  Even though Kipp wasn't feeling his best all day, I remember when we first started with Lance, and am amazed at how well Kipp really is doing.  No, its not perfect, but oh so much better.  So although I've had an emotional couple of days, that helped me to realize that even though the years seem to be flying by too quickly, I have way to much to be thankful for to waste my time being sad.

Love My Life!

There were so many times in the first few months after Kipp's stroke that I would regularly say "FML", particularly in the car while I was alone and had time to wallow.  Now I can honestly say that for the most part, I Love My Life!  I have the best husband, no matter what his needs, he is the best!  My daughter, can be a pain, but she is still sweet at heart.  AND my son, Jaycob, is truly a great kid!  As the school year winds down (2 days and counting), I am reminded by my students of why I love my job, and now that I will have a little break, love the time I get to spend with my family.  I have to remember that this all could have changed 9 months ago.  We could have been the family that had the email announcing a tragedy to the school families, but we weren't, and for that I am really grateful.  My heart goes out to everyone who has to face an unexpected illness or death, but we are on the other side now and actually able to see that no matter what the future holds, we DO have a future.  Once again, for that I am so grateful!!!  I LOVE MY LIFE!

The Year is Wrapping Up...

At least the school year, that is.  Today is the last Friday of the year, only 4 more days next week.  I forgot how absolutely crazy this time of year is.  Not only at school, but at home with the kids wrapping up their school years as well.  Jake, and our whole family has been consumed with baseball.  The Stingrays placed second in North Park Minors, and went onto the Tournament of Champions.  Although fun, they lost both of the first two games, and have one more to go.  I really enjoy the break from work and home, just going and watching the boys play.  We have made some really good friends this year.  Jake is thrilled to have 2 neighborhood boys to play with, Kainoa and Sam.  I am also thrilled to have met Deborah, Kainoa's mother, who only lives 2 blocks away.  She is fun to chat with, and seems to have a really good view/perspective on life.  Our families seem to get along well, even Shelby has found an occasional babysitting gig with them.  I'm hoping these friendships continue for years to come.  I continue to be thankful for friends in all places, and a loving husband who makes my everyday special, no matter how hectic it is.

Friends in hidden places...

Had a great May!  So busy I haven't had time to breathe...or blog!  Celebrated, quietly, with my husband, our 20th anniversary.  So thankful we are together and happy.  Also this month, celebrated my son's 11th birthday.  He is so big and growing into a wonderful kid.  He has always been wonderful, just appreciative that he is still such an inquisitive boy with lots of deep thoughts.  This 3 day weekend, went to a birthday party of a co-worker's daughter.  There were a few other teachers there that I had kind of lost touch with, but realized that they are still friends, so I am thankful for those friends that have been dormant, but still there.  Happy May...13 school days left!

Girlfriends!

Love my girlfriends!  I don't have too many true friends, just work friends.  But in these past few months, I've realized which of those are really friends, and not just because we work together.  I literally have two friends that I went to high school with that have come through for me and I know if needed they would be there.  Other than that, most of my friends have come and gone over the years.  Now I seem to have made a few more friends that I've actually known for years, but just starting to become closer.  Last night those two ladies visited and had a glass of wine.  We chatted and had a pretty cool time.  I'm going to try harder to actually be a good friend and keep these two around for a while.  I haven't realized how important to have friends it is, so for those girlfriends, I am thankful!

Peaceful moments...

I love those peaceful moments that you get to yourself.  Every morning before work I've been waking up at 5:45, getting dressed and partially ready, making lunches (mine and Jake's), then taking advantage of the 20-30 minutes I get to myself.  Sometimes my husband or daughter wake up early and those quiet times to myself are gone, but most the time, like today, it remains peaceful.

In this crazy world, between work, husband, children and all the necessary household activities, it is rare to just have a little time to yourself around here.  So I am thankful for the morning times I do get to enjoy in solitude!

Humor

I love that my husband still has a sense of humor.  Even after all he's been through, he still manages to see the light side of things.  He's able to make a joke about his speech abilities (or inabilities) and hasn't lost the art of his sarcasm.  Today after driving home from his meeting with his work in which he was told he still couldn't return to work, he managed to joke about the nurse we met with and how the weather was going to be too nice to work anyways.  Although I'm having a hard time pinpointing a specific joke, there have been many, and I will always love and be thankful that he has the best sense of humor even on our darkest days.

Actually like the gray...

Although, not a particularly busy day, I did try to accomplish some work around the house and feel good about what I did.  I started by cleaning the disgustingly messy kitchen, unloading and reloading the dishwasher and scrubbing the sink.  Then after a rather stressful trip to HD, I threw in a load of laundry and folded the old stuff in the dryer.  The most difficult of all is that I dragged the elliptical machine down from the patio into the yard, sprayed it off, cleaned out all the mud and dust, then managed to get it back onto the patio, ready for use!!!  I even managed to go through the backyard and put lots of old crap into the garbage which goes out today, so now I am ready to get started on our backyard project of putting in gravel and flagstones.  I hope tomorrow is even more productive.

So grateful for the chance to get some things done during my spring break.  I love  yard work!

Long, warm days...

On this beautiful spring evening, I am so thankful for the beautiful weather we had today.  It was a fun day up at Morley Field, with a few hours spent in the snack bar, and a winning game for the Stingrays.  Now it is a leisurely evening, grilling our dinner and enjoying the late sundown.  It was a great week and a terrific end with a fantastic Saturday.  Looking forward to many more days like this:)

So Tired...

Let the tiredness set in.  I am so tired!  Last night is when I really felt it.  Now I remember why Wednesdays were so tough.  It seems to be the toughest to wake up, and the longest day.  I went from school to therapy to pick up Kipp.  Then home, Fresh & Easy, and CVS, were in the afternoon.  Then right after dinner (and a mini cat-nap), I took Jake to Cub Scouts, Shelby & Lorelay to ballet, then back to cub scouts, back to ballet, and finally home!  Everyone keep your fingers crossed that Kipp gets his license back next week so I can cut down on my driving time.

Now it is Thursday; short day.  I hope to come home a little early for a nap and maybe cuddle time with  my honey (?).  Then off again...baseball game tonight!

So thankful for a cute little boy in my class that every day makes my day.  Such a sweetie.  Today, I hope to make his day.

Rediscovered...

So, today I returned to work after exactly 7 months off with Kipp.  I was so nervous leading up to it, but as soon as I stepped into my classroom, I felt fine.  As my day started, I started to get into that teaching groove.  Literally, in the middle of teaching a lesson on compound sentences, I just got that feeling that I love what I do.  I remember thinking, "Now this is why I love teaching!" Everything just felt right, like all the pieces fell into place for me.  So a "silver lining" to this whole mess with what happened to Kipp, and how we've really had to deal with a lot of crap, is that I've really rediscovered my passion for teaching.  I love being in the classroom, with the students, watching them absorb and learn new things, and actually have fun doing it.  Tonight, I am thankful for being a teacher and being given the opportunity to do what I love.

Trying hard...

I'm trying hard tonight to think beyond my anger to be grateful.  So to try to be a bigger person, I'm going to start with my gratitude tonight.  I am so grateful for good people.  Good people have helped us so much through this difficult time in our lives.  Even new people to our lives have been so gracious with their time and help.  Yesterday, our new friends that happen to live right around the corner, were so nice to rescue Jake from having to be dragged to all of Kipp's appointments.  I dropped Jake off before, and he was treated to a day of play with not only one friend, but two (another one that lives close by).  It was such a treat for him.  So I am so appreciative of meeting new people through Little League that live close by and have been so nice to us!

On that same note, I've decided that I'm going to do my best to not let the negative people in our lives drag me down.  I've noticed through these past few months that my in laws, particularly my MIL, has really been a downer in our life.  Unfortunately, she is depressed and constantly spreading her negative thoughts.  When she calls it is as if she is looking for the negative.  She pities Kipp, and he doesn't need that.  He needs people that have a positive outlook on things, not always looking for the bad.  Anytime he has contact with her, he gets stressed.  Even though I've tried to explain to her how to talk to him so he'll understand better, she still doesn't get it.  If a person has difficulty with names, and all nouns, you don't ask them questions that require them to answer with a name, or noun.  I know that can be difficult, but you can at least try. 

Today, MIL, showed up at Jake's game.  She literally said one word to us, and sat next to us.  At the end of the game, she didn't even say goodbye, or talk to Kipp.  She just turned around and walked away.  I was going to try to approach the subject of "updating" her about our lives to her.  (Long story about how it is obvious that she doesn't feel she is updated enough about Kipp's progress, and after 6 months we just are trying to get back to normal, not feeling like we have to share TMI with her).  But she is so obviously mad and wants to play games like a two year old, I'm not going to even bother.  Like I don't have enough to be stressed out about, she just can't see out of her own negative ways.  So this little venting session, that I have already spent too much time on, is all I'm going to waste.  I'm done!

Thanks again to all the new people in our lives for making it a pleasure to have met you and extending your help to us.  It means the world to all of us!

Pizza!

Tonight I'm thankful for De Luca's Pizza.  Silly, I know, but after a good talk between mothers at baseball practice tonight, I had no idea what I was making for dinner.  I realized that I'm not the only one that feels that way when having to provide dinner every night to please all of us.  I actually do more than most, since I rarely resort to fast food.  It was a nice talk and kind of a relief from home, and I hate to say Kipp.  So when I returned home, I ordered a Marguerita pizza from Deluca's and it turned out delicious, and at least 3 of us were pleased.

So thank you Deluca's, for giving me time to have a "mom" talk, and not feeling too guilty about not cooking tonight.

This was just at the right time...

"As the saying goes, when one window closes, another one opens. In other words, just because something is ending right now doesn't mean that something new isn't just getting started. It might be right around the corner -- or it might be quite a spell down the road. Regardless, something is coming in your future that will make you glad you took the journey to get there. Hope is the word to hold on to today -- hope for what you can't anticipate and can't control."

The above was on my homepage horoscope today.  It is so appropriate for the time in my life.  I've been so anxious about returning to work on the 7th.  I have dreams every night about how it will go, and when I wake up in the middle of the night, all I can think about is everything I need to do and get done for when I'm at work.  I worry a lot about leaving Kipp right now, even though deep down I know he'll be okay and we'll work things out for this new phase of our lives.  I have been blessed to be able to take this time to stay home with him, and even though it has been tough, we are closer because of it.  So my time off from teaching, and this stage in our life is coming to an end, but like the horoscope says, a new time for us is just getting started.  I've never been a huge believer in astrology, but this comes at just the right time:) HOPE is the word to hold onto today and always!

Gray Skies and a houseful of kids!

Totally unplanned, today I've ended up with a houseful of kids.  Not really a problem, just not so common around here to have more that my own, maybe one extra.  Today, each of my kids have a friend here to play with, and I know that really isn't a houseful to most, but in my small house it is!  They are totally engaged in their video games.  Shelby and Briana have started up a game of Rock Band, and Jake and Roby are into the Ipad. The weather is cool and gray, so even though it is not too bad, the kids prefer to be indoors.  I kind of like the gray, and hope to escape later to a energetic power walk.  It all depends on how long the kids are around.  Maybe I'll bring the boys up for batting practice and walk around the field???

So on this Sunday, I am grateful for the gray skies and the kids, too.  They keep me grounded and not so lonely.

Ahhh Vino!

Very simple, tonight I am grateful for a nice glass of wine.  I try not to indulge on a weeknight, because though I hate to admit it, in my 40's even just one glass makes me feel like hell in the morning.  Especially when I have to wake up at 6:00.  I know, I'm not working right now, so what does it matter.  But I do still have to wake up early to take the kids (in 2 trips) to school, and I rarely get to go back to sleep when I'm done.  So, on a Friday, when there is no early Little League game, I am very appreciative of a glass of wine, or two, to relax me at the end of a long week.  Here's to sweet dreams and sleeping to 7:30 tomorrow morning! Cheers!

Cooking up a storm...

I'm not sure why I added "storm", it just sounded good.  I love to cook.  I admit, I wish I had a more receptive audience.  They are hit and miss on some of my adventures in cooking.  I usually know what they will like and when I am risking a "dislike" from all of them.  Right now, Kipp is less critical and doesn't say much when he is less than pleased with a dish, but the kids have no problem voicing their opinions.  Tonight it was a fairly simple corn and crab chowder.  It was delicious, and everyone agreed.  I will be freezing the other half for a dinner on a busy baseball night in a week or two.  Although I would love to keep the leftovers for tomorrow, I know I'll be saving myself on a busy night after work when I'm too exhausted to even think about dinner (a suggestion from my therapist to freeze food for when I return to work, which I'm trying to follow through on).

So tonight I am thankful for a successfully made dish, and an addition to my favorite recipes!

The Obvious...

Today, I'm grateful for the obvious...my husband.  Just because of family history and all the death we've had to deal with, I've always forced myself to imagine what I would do without my husband.  I'm so grateful I haven't had to find out.  We came close this time, almost seeing my husband die.  It was horrible, and all of the events that surrounded his aneurysm.  It is the reason I called this blog, "Living in a Dream".  I kept waiting to wake up, then several times had to remind myself that it wasn't a dream, it was my life.  So blah, blah, blah...now that most of the horrible is over and we're just dealing with the aftermath, I am so grateful that my husband is a strong person.  I have never seen someone go through having to deal with this big of a change in their life.  I know it affected all of us, but he is the one that it affected directly.  His whole life and perspective has had to change, and he has been so strong and determined to deal with it.  Yes, he waivered, and had some doubt in himself, but he struggles and overcomes his problems every day.  Last night he held me and told me he loved me.  It was so sincere I almost cried.  Just hearing those words, so perfectly said, made me realize how grateful that he is who he is and the fact that I have the privilege to be with him...enough said.

Just the little things...

It is so funny all of the things about my husband that have changed, but I really haven't admitted until now.  Most of them are just little things in his personality.  Besides the obvious impairments, here's a list of some of those little things that have changed:
1. He often speaks very loudly.  B.S. he was always hushing my children and myself because he felt we spoke to loud.  Now he is the loud one and it doesn't seem to bother him.
2. He is very obsessive about things.  He follows weather, particularly stormy weather, like he has never experienced it before.  He constantly wants to trim his facial and body hair.  He can't stand it growing even the littlest too long. He won't let things go...even though I try to make him forget (particularly about those issues that I need to take care of).  I think he is afraid that if he doesn't obsess over them, he will forget.
3. He talks to the animals.  He has always had a sensitive spot for the dogs, but never really admitted it.  Now he seems to enjoy interacting and talking with them.  It is very cute.  He also seems to really like our cat, which is a big switch.
4. Overall, he is much more pleasant, and not as moody as he used to be.  I now know that those headaches he used to have really had a reason (hence the aneurysm).

Those are just a few things, but today I am grateful for these things.  Most of them are welcome changes since I'm trying to be as positive as possible.  Honestly, I can't thing of any really bad changes since the stroke, except for his frustration with himself, but I think that is to be expected.  So thanks for those little things!

All Better!

I am so grateful for good moods.  After a "dreary" morning, K came home in a good mood from playing tennis with Matt, Shelby did her chores and agreed to not be so disrespectful/bitchy, and all is better.  After a delicious mocha from Rebecca's coffee shop, a trip to the store to buy the makings of "Steak Soup", and a little nap, we are all peaceful.  The weather on the other hand is stormy and cold.  Looks like a good evening of cuddling by the fireplace.  So I'm not only thankful for good moods, but also warm fires:)

On a dreary Sunday

I'm trying hard to find something to be grateful this dreary day.  I usually love Sundays, and today started out as no exception.  Until we were struck by the curse of Shelby!  My daughter is beautiful and strong spirited, very much like both myself and my husband.  The past few weeks she has just been so witchy.  It seems like she thinks its okay to call all of us stupid, or idiots...says "shut up" every three seconds and flies off on irrational rants whenever her mood strikes.  I suppose I was very much like that as a teenager, but being the youngest of three, it usually didn't phase my parents.  At the same time, I know that if I had said some of the things that she does to me, I would've been struck across the face and banished to my room for a week.  So either I have conveniently removed that from my memory, or I just was smart enough not to speak that way to my parents. 

I suppose I am grateful for "cooling off" periods.  Once I'm able to cool off, and calm down, she usually does too, and I can talk sensibly to her.  I am also grateful to my parents for dealing with me as a teenager.  I have much more appreciation for parents that successfully survive raising a teenager, and still have a life when they are done.

Family Time

On this Friday, I am grateful for family time.  Not necessarily time where we're all doing the same thing, but just those times when everyone is home and we are just being "normal".  Yes, of course I love the more "quality" times, but have learned to appreciate that even though we've been through quite an ordeal these past few months, there are time when we are just being together and doing the things that family does.  Also noted, quality time doesn't have to be when we go to the zoo, or Sea World, or another planned adventure.  It can just simply be sitting on the couch together watching a funny movie or a favorite t.v. show, eating dinner together, or playing a board game.  I'm not too picky, just thankful for the four of us being home together in a state of calm happiness.  Love it!

The Pinewood Derby

Today I am grateful for the Cub Scouts.  I was never pictured myself as an All American type of mom.  I was never a Girlscout and Kipp never a Boyscout.  Just didn't think it fit into my "left winged" life.   Always the liberal, thought those associations were too conservative.  I started to realize I was wrong when Shelby became a Brownie in elementary school.  Now I know I'm wrong. 

I watched my son have a blast tonight at Pack 53's annual Pinewood Derby.  We spent all week working on a little piece of pine that we made into a car.  It was supposed to be Jake's thing, but since we have so much extra time on our hands we got into it, making sure it met all the specifications.  Jake brought his car to the church where the Pack meets, and I found that I was not the only parent that got into it.  It was rather obvious to me that most of those parents made the entire car from start to finish, so I'm glad that Jake could say that he had a large part in the making of his own racer.

Jake joined Cub Scouts when Kipp was in the hospital and some friends of ours asked us if Jake would like to go along.  He loved it.  And why wouldn't he... a group of 8 boys all his age and grade that just love to have fun.  He gets to play and do activities, earning badges, and just be a kid. 

K told me yesterday that while I was gone, the new neighbor came over to introduce himself while he and Jake were playing out front.  As soon as the guy came over and shook K's hand, Jake was right at his side explaining to the neighbor that his dad couldn't talk too well since he had a stroke.  I'm so proud of Jake for speaking up for his father, and taking on that role of the mini-caregiver while I was away.  It also made me a little sad that he has to take on that role at such a young age.  You never expect your children to have that type of responsibility and deal with all those feeling involved with a sick parent.

So tonight I am grateful for Cub Scouts for letting my son be just a kid with a group of friends having fun.

P.S.

A little more gratitude for this Wednesday... I am grateful for our kitty, Ozzie.  He is a sweet tabby cat that we adopted from the Humane Society in November.  I never wanted another cat, and my husband claims to be a "cat hater", but our daughter talked us into this one.  I really felt sorry for her since it had been a rough couple of months since her father's stroke, and it was easy to convince K (kind of taking advantage of his weakened state of mind).  I admit Ozzie has been easy-going since we brought him home.  He mostly hangs out in D's room, but it has almost been good for K to take his mind off of things to have this kitty around in the day when we have so many hours here.  Today kitty has been playing fetch with is loved yellow pom-pom.  He is the most dog-like cat that I've ever had.  Maybe that is why I am so grateful for him.

A New Reality

Okay, so now I'm living in my new reality.  I am amazed on how little I get done!  I wake up every week day morning at 6 am to take my daughter to school, return for my son, then come back home and see what the day holds.  Right now my husband's therapy schedule is really light, so we have lots of time on our hands.  Neither of us is really a "house" person, meaning we don't love to do household projects.  I don't mind doing some things, like painting, or gardening, but it is the day to day stuff that gets in the way.  I am a terrible housekeeper!  I will look at something that needs to be cleaned for days, then finally force myself to get the vacuum out, or the ajax, and get to it.  My house would flunk the Martha Stewart clean standard. 

The new reality is that I can't imagine that I once held a full time job.  I have become a big time waster.  I spend a lot of time on the computer (even now!) and play games.  This is the worst, and I feel so guilty about that.  I'm going to try very hard to recreate my "new" reality and make use of the time that I have.  I'm going to clean, and get myself organized.  I'm actually going to use that paint that I bought last month and paint our bedroom.  I'm going to dig up the weeds and plant my annual veggie garden.  Today instead of cursing all the time on my hands, I'm going to be grateful that I have the time to do these things.  I AM grateful for time!

Why not me?

I have spent a lot of time these past few months asking the question, "Why me?".  But I think I have realized recently that everyone asks that question.  Why not me?  I have to remember that I'm not special or immune to bad stuff.  Something that helps me through a lot of tough times is remembering that bad stuff happens to good people. 

For those of you that don't know me, here's the story.  My husband, I'll call him "K", suffered a ruptured aneurysm in his brain, and a stroke following the craniotomy to repair the bleed.  It was a left side stroke that left his speech impaired.  He has what's called Wernicke's aphasia, which really means difficulty saying nouns.  Otherwise, physically, he is fine, with the exception of occasional  side effects from his anti-seizure medication.  Without going into all the details (mostly because I'm trying to move on), as you can imagine this has changed our lives.  We as a family, my husband, daughter, son, and myself, have been affected in many different ways, of which I'm sure I'll write about every now and then.

So now, like I mentioned, I'm just trying to move on.  I realize that we can never go back to B.S. (Before Stroke), but we can work on creating a new "normal" for our family.  So why not me?  I am strong and mostly optimistic about my future.  I love my family, and our life together.  I have so much to be grateful for, and I hope to point that out regularly so I can move forward and not whine too much about the past.  I plan on using this blog as kind of a "gratitude" journal.  Today I am grateful for life!